Here we present Crafty Beer Tour Leader, Beer Vocabulary and Beer Slang
Two very distinct definitions that I know of 1. Spilling beer! A terrible thing. 2.You have a real problem and need help
invention , noun, verb
I shamelessly admit to having invented this word. Why not? When you’ve had a few and your with a group of like minded equally well-oiled friends someone gets a great idea. It’s 4am on a freezing winter night and you agree to go have a swim in the sea. Or you decide to all dance to the centre of town Gangnam Style. Basically any group studity or frolic induced by alcohhol.
Another? Music to the ears!
An opportunity to learn, socialise and enjoy with like-minded people! Carry something with your address so after you have a chance of getting home.
A side effect of drinking a little too much ale which tends to turn previously unattractive or boring people into objects of interst or even sexual desire. Also known as Beer Blinders. Time to go home!
noun, from goosebumps
The elated sensation, physical,emotional and spiritual, that one receives after tasting a well-prepared alcoholic drink.
“I’m going down the boozer” – the pub. Alternatively a name for beer or someone who is frequently drunk. Advanced English: “There were loads of boozers in the Boozer last night but I only had a couple of pints of booze.”
expession and medical condition
You’ve drunk so much…too much…..and whilst you are willing you are not able to have sex in any of it’s delightful and varied forms. You’re droopy. Limp dicked. Up the creek without a paddle etc., Some might say you’re completely fucked up..but the truth is you ain’t gonna get laid etc., Worse case scenario: the object of your passions will leave you forever. Best case scenario: You wake up a little later restored to your usual vigour and the opportunity…well…arises again.
Brahms,Liszt and Oliver Twist
This is our feeble attempt to introduce a little culture into this liszt. “I was completely Brahms and Liszt last night” does not mean you had been to a concert! If you’re not a classical music fan and have a natural bent (is that politcally correct?) for literature or impersonation “I was Oliver Twist” is OK too. What the Dickens does this mean? They both mean drunk or, if you prefer:- blotto, blitzed,blasted, bombed, hammered, juiced, legless etc. These two lovely first expessions come from Cockney Rhyming Slang from the centre of London, England. Basically the phrases rhyme with “pissed” that is: drunk.
Britney Spears are, naturally, “light beers”
The roots of the real ale movement in England are solidy grounded in cask conditioned beers. Basically when the cask or barrel leaves the brewery it can already be in a perfect state ready for immediate consumption. It has matured in the cask….a fairly complex maturing process…..but usually it will finish it’s maturation in the pub. Controlled quanties of gas will be released, the temperature controlled and the live beer will still be converting sugars into comples alchohol taste which gives the ale it character and taste. The ales can be traditional bitters, pale ales, porters or stouts. The objective is to ensure that the ale is served at the maximum point of richness and maturity. Yummie!
Drunk (also see Brahms and Half Cut)
noun, verb and headache
Being drunk is, we suppose, the opposite to being sober - enlightenment comes generally from following the middle way.
You can be “drunk as a skunk”, “pissed as a newt”, “totally rat-arsed” etc., Animal rights activistes please note: we accept this is defamation of character though we would admit that some animal tests were conducted with our lovely and cool Crafty Beer T-Shirts - sadly they did not fit very well so in future they will only be sold to humans and the larger apes.
A wooden barrel containing 9 gallons which is a quarter the size of a traditional barrel of 36 gallons. The biggest barrel is a Hogshead holding 54 gallons. The name Firkin, probably from old Dutch meaning a fourth, sounds a bit like another word in English. No prizes for guessing which one. Thus this noun elegantly adapts to a verb etc., with phrases like “What a firkin idiot”, “I was only furkin about wiv ya” etc.,
noun and verb
To swallow a large mouthfull. “He drank the pint in three gulps.” Can also be used to express horror or disappointment. The barman said “sorry mate no draught beer.” He gulped back his tears.
To drink with great speed. “She guzzled down the pint in a few seconds”
Beer and its making
The long river of malt pours
Joy in mind and tongue
Written by Elspeth Payne. More poetic wisdom: Do not Haiku and Drive. We encourage responsible poetry.
Hair Of The Dog
Well, actually “the hair of the dog that bit me”. The custom of trying to relieve hangover symptoms by drinking alchol when you wake up!
“I’m half cut” means you’ve have had quite a lot to drink and are feeling rather groggy, tipsy, wobbily, woozy, spongy (from Shakespeare’s Macbeth) or generally the affects of the alcohol! This can sometimes happen after a glass or two, for example, if you’ve not eaten for a while. To becut or completely cut is to be stone drunk…beyond your limit.
Apart from making some superb beers and divine whisky the Scots have given us this beautifil phrase - “A pint ‘o ‘eavy” (a pint of heavy). ‘Eavy relates to alcohol by volume and if you fancy something even stronger ask for “a wee ‘eavy.”
The foam over the beer when it is served. An important cultural issue! In some countries the head is not counted as part of the pint. Some glasses have a line indicating the required volume of liquid. Be careful! Head also has oral sexl connotations so try to avoid saying things like “The barmaid/barman gave me a lot of head last night.”
A quantity of ale bigger than a standard barrel. When the conversation begins to flag such interesting question as how many firkins to a hogshead can induce excitement, confusion or involuntary sleep. “Firkin stupid question” or “Firk knows” are typical responses. In fact, a hogshead holds 54 gallons. Yes we can be geeks sometimes! These casks are rarely seen now.
verb, present imperfect!
When you are in this condition i.e. drunk, the word is usually pronounced “inneshiberashet” or something equally incomprehensible. Whoever invented this word was obviously not a serious drinker so our advice is: Forget it……it has been included here for historical irrelevance.
“Stick ten in the Kitty mate” or “Whats left in the Kitty?” Let me assure you that no tiny fluffy kitten or pussy cat is being abused. The Kitty in question is simply a pool of money. At the start of a drinking session everyone puts the same amount into “the kitty” which is used to pay for drinks, food etc.,
noun and verb
The foam left in the glass as you drink. Beautiful eh? Caution: If a lady sez she would like a nice lace top it is generally advisable to take her to a clothes shop and not pour a pint of beer over her…we would, however, appreciate pictures of any exception to this rule.
This one is for our Spanish, Catalan and International friends. A local refers to a particular kind of premises, namely the pub someone most frequents, which somewhat confusingly might not be the pub most local to their home. This is frequently used with a possessive adjective, e.g. “So is this your local then?”.
If you are going to drink beer in reasonable quantities at some point you are going to have to ask someone “Where’s the loo?” If you have been drinking excessively “wheerzalu” will probably be understood. The loo is the toilet which could also be called the bog, the crapper, the lavvie (lavatory), the gent’s, ladies room, the head, the john etc.,
One Over The Eight
To have “one over the eight” is to be drunk. Bearing in mind we’re talking about one more than 8 pints (a gallon, about 4.5 litres) which is apparently OK…it’s the 9th pint that causes problems! This phrase was first recorded in 1925 when beer was generally weaker than now but hey….
Pub is an abbreviation of Public House. Cultural note: Inside the pub you go to the bar (counter) to order your drinks – in many cultures a pub will be called a Bar though not all bars are pubs! You CAN go to a wine bar, a cocktail bar or just any old regular bar…the question though is WHY? Various answers to this complex questions have been given…..for diversity, on a date, too much money, stupidity or a chronic pub shortage. Just to make matters interesting some people will call a pub a Tavern or anInn. This can be confusing for visitors to Britain when they here things like “I was just going in the Inn when Innis was coming out the inside of the Inn.” For further richness in a Pub, Tavern or Inn there can be three or more seperate areas called “The Public Bar“, “The Saloon Bar” or (my favourite) “The Snug.” Someone once asked us why this was so complicated. We would be delighted to accept a substantial reseach grant to do an in-depth analysis.
To satiate one’s thirst.
Roy’s favourite beer word – to drink deeply with enthusiasm. He quenched his thirst by quickly quaffing a quantity of quality ale. (What’s all this about beer and the letter Q?)
Buying drinks for two or more people frequently with the expectation that a drink will be bought in return, if not later in the day than perhaps on another day. Roundhouses are buying for everybody in the bar. Note that a Cheapster is someone who drinks in a round who does not buy a similar round.
noun and verb
You fancy a pint or two and have no money? Regulars at a pub might ask the barkeep to “stick it on the slate” (small blackboard) or “to slate it up.” Sometimes called the Tally Slate, or Tab this showed customers tally or debts. The slate has sadly largely disappeared and could you “place the debt on your pcs spreadsheet” lacks charm!
invention, noun ,verb
We have adapted the Schrodininger’s cat concept to beer in the interest of scientific development and because we have nothing better to do for the moment. Basically in quantum theory the cat is always dead and alive at the same moment. To encourage you to improve your education and consumption of fine ales….look at a beer barrel…touch it….fondle it……fondle it again….lift it…..what you cannot know is whether the beer inside is wonderful or horrible. Like Schrodinger’s cat it is both. Theoretical physics is OK but now you need to to engage in practical experimentation. You’re going to have a Schrodinger. An unknown ale. Whilst your changes of getting a Nobel Prize are somewhat slim your knowledge of the universe of ales will have increased.
noun and verb
To drink generally slowly in very small quantities. “He sat at the bar the whole evening quietly sipping his glass of beer.” Serial sipping, however, is to continously take small mouthfulls. A not uncommon symptom when someone else is talking and you can’t get a word in edgewise!
To drink making loads of noise.
To enjoy beer over a good period of time, taking it in, savouring it – a beer usually has to have bags of drinkability for it to be supped. It is inconceivable to sup lager; supping is strongly associated with ale.
noun and verb
“Gissa swig” (Give us a swing) – a request to try somebody else’s beer, due to hard times or alleged interest.
A traditional drinking vessel which could be made of pottery, glass or very commonly of pewter. Regulars usually leave their tankard at the pub and some have hundreds on display. Many pewter tankards have a glass bottom to check that nothing has been put in your drink. If money was there, for example during the Napoleonic Wars, and you drank a drop you we’re forced, or press ganged, into military service because you had accepted or taken the “King’s shilling.” Historical note: Before decimalisation an English Pound had 20 shillings and each shilling was worth 12 pence. Four crowns, eight half-crowns or ten florins also made a Pound which naturally had 240 pennies. The lowest value coin was a farthing and there were four to a penny or 480 to a pound.
noun and verb
Beer. “Fancy a pint of wallop?” Sadly “he gave me a good wallop” does not mean he invited me to have an excellent ale but….. that he hit me!
So you’re drinking in rounds but your fellow drinkers are a little slow to sup up. Your thirst requires you to order a wedgie—a pint that you slot in between rounds while you wait for everyone else to catch up.
Wet Your Whistle
To wet your whistle is to have another drink. Tankards or drinking pots in merry old England used to have a whistle incorporated into the handle. When you needed another drink you would blow it thus whistling to get the attention of staff!
expession of horrior!
The Whirling Pits are horrible! When you are completely drunk if you are unlucky you’ll get the whirling pits. The whole universe starts spinning, sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly, and you have the sensation of falling into a black pit. Yuk!!